So let us imagine for one second you are a time traveller and are looking for the optimum vehicle to go about you time travel duties in.

For the time this day comes, at FilmFlux we have helped you by narrowing your choices down to two stylish and efficient options: the Time and Relative Dimension in Space (TARDIS) or the 1981 DeLorean DMC-12 equipped with the wonderful invention, the Flux Capacitor, invented by a mad 50’s scientist slipping on the shitter and smashing his head on the basin causing him to have hallucinogenic visions on how to build a time travel device, leading one to think ‘What could possibly go wrong?’.

However, there are several pros and cons for each of these forms of transport.

We’ll start with the TARDIS.

TARDIS
The TARDIS’s main and most obvious advantage is its seemingly limitless space – it is mentioned in one episode of Doctor Who that the inside weighs 5,000,000 kilograms and, as we have seen, the inside of the TARDIS can be edited and changed by the Doctor so the innards are basically infinite. Imagine stepping through the doors of the small wooden blue box, having walked around all of it already and assuring yourself it could only fit three people at the most (who liked each other a lot). However, when stepping inside, instead of only finding room for a claustrophobic threesome you’d see room for a whole orgy – it’s literally a mobile universe, to be moulded at your will.

However, although it may have a spacious interior, the quality of flight isn’t actually the best. The TARDIS is unreliable and often overshoots by time, location or both. True enough, it is a time machine, but even all the time in your life won’t be enough to land you in your car parking space outside your office on the exact right time for an important meeting – in fact, the TARDIS has an annoying habit of pitching you up nowhere near your intended location and instead on a faraway planet in the distant future where a group of aliens who have nothing better to do are terrorising the local population. Whether or not you feel compelled to help out, this can be a slight distraction and annoying to say the least.

The TARDIS is also practically an antique. Unlike the DeLorean, which is widely manufactured and therefore cheaper, there is only one TARDIS left in the universe and as such will cost more than a solid gold robotic nymphomaniac. This, coupled with the fact that, as a time machine, it’s shit, means that it isn’t quite the Godly, limitlessly big mode of transport it first seems.

DeLorean
The DeLorean is a stylish car that immediately kicks the TARDIS’s arse on style points, as, be honest, what would you do if you heard a guy say “Yeah, my car is awesome, it’s like, a police box”?

It also beats the TARDIS on practicality. Unlike the TARDIS, with its many complicated controls, dials, flicks and switches the DeLorean is simply a car, with an easy – to – read panel displaying the current year, previous year travelled to and the destination you will reach if you travel faster than 88 miles per hour. The only possible downside is that if the Delorean is struck by lightning, it’ll send you rocketing 100 years into the past (from your set destination). The DeLorean can also fly much better than the TARDIS, and is in fact far easier to move around at all; as it can double as a car (and an airborne one at that) transportation comes naturally, however the TARDIS, stuck in the form of a 60’s police box, is not used to flying and even has to cool off before being used again after being in the air for long periods.

However, again, the DeLorean is not without drawbacks.

There is the constant fear that you will accidentally go over 88 miles per hour when driving and end up sometime in the year 5423. It is also highly risky that when you do actually need to travel you will crash into something that hasn’t been built yet or even hit someone who happens to be in front of your car when it materialises. But I suppose that you don’t need to worry about that if you land before the police force was set up, in 1832...

Another major issue is that you need enough road to get up to 88 in order to travel. Unlike the TARDIS that can just take off standing, the DeLorean needs at least a few metres to accelerate enough. And what if the DeLorean runs out of fuel? Or worse, plutonium. While the TARDIS has to only land on a rift easily located in Cardiff to refuel, the DeLorean’s fuel supply is incredibly rare, especially if you are left stranded in the past. The only other thing that can give the DeLorean that boost is a bolt of lightning, which again has the danger of making you overshoot by 100 years, as well as the fact that lightning bolts are quite hard to come by.

Verdict
After many long, hard nights thinking of a conclusion, we got bored and picked a winner at random. The winner is...

The TARDIS, for its sheer God – like qualities. Forged and grown by an ancient and powerful race, the pure history of this magnificent machine, even without the added facts it’s a sentient being and is limitlessly bigger on the inside, makes the TARDIS a far better time machine than the DeLorean.


So, there you have it. If you want a god-like mode of transport, don't use a bus, car, train or DeLorean. Use a TARDIS.